Black Female Sexuality!

With recent feminine journey YouTube channels taking off, clubhouse room discussions being held and the scandal behind Chloe’s recent posts. I thought it’d be appropriate to help ease the transition for women who are in limbo about becoming whole within themselves.

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The suppression of sexual nature comes at the expense of being objects in ways women don’t realize. To deny yourself of your sensuality and sexuality only to reserve it for male pleasure automatically makes you an object for consumption vs a woman who naturally, genuinely and wholeheartedly experiences.

It’s scary I know, we’ve never been given permission to do so. The spectrum of sexuality doesn’t exist for women, especially black women. We are told to be one of two options. Modest or whores, there is no in between. I personally know how suffocating that can be but ladies there is room for all facets of who you are and you are allowed to celebrate being both a corporate success and a sensual beauty.

Take Beyoncé for instance, a multifaceted, dynamic entertainer, creator and business woman. When speaking of her most people will still reduce this power house of a performer to her performance dance wear, but they won’t acknowledge the time, resources, jobs given and courage it takes to compose a body of work.

Audrey Lorde and Bell Hooks have discussed black femininity for decades and the conversations still seem to go unheard and unspoken in the black community.

We have memes that paint narrow pictures of what all women are when they show cleavage and will easily compare it to a woman in a turtleneck as if those are the only two options of female presentation.

The idea of being a whole woman is baffling to many and I’m here to tell you ladies it’s not! It’s actually quite invigorating.

Take me for example, I’ve struggled between the two spaces for quite sometime never feeling truly comfortable to explore my sexuality due to the backlash of being called a whore. Where I found myself in this is walking a narrow line that didn’t truly represent me, a line that placed me in the respectability race. In this, I found myself criticizing myself with a fine tooth comb. I later learned that this is a conditioning of internalized misogyny.

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Where I am now in my journey is in a space of acceptance and it took me some time to get here. We as women have to remember that it is okay to find yourself to be beautiful, in a world that told me I wasn't beautiful and I was too dark whilst shaming me for celebrating my own beauty. This is an oppression we don't have to carry, we don't have to ask for permission to celebrate ourselves.

I am far removed from the idea that my body and bodies pleasures are only for men to enjoy. It’s about me. So Ive made it about me, through dance, photo shoots, via self portraits, or simply admiring myself in the mirror in my bedroom. My body is to be enjoyed by me, it’s a part of who I am and she won’t go ignored.

Did I mention this body has created life? If that’s not a reason to celebrate me then I don’t know what is.

🔥 Post Baby Body 🔥

What I find that young women (myself included at the time) don’t understand is the dangers in suppression and the freedom in the latter. By walking a line that suppresses you, you stunt your growth, or worse you find yourself trying to live up to a standard you didn’t set for yourself so you constantly fall short of something that doesn’t exist.

The best part about taking ownership and exploring all facets of your femininity, which includes sensual and sexuality is that you become a more whole version of yourself. You become a woman who has agency of her pleasures. A woman who doesn’t walk into relationships lost and looking for guidance from masculine energy that can’t (and isn’t obligated to) provide what you need to be whole in your femininity.

So to that I say, challenge the notions. Create the spectrum and stop asking for permission. it’s okay to like and love your body weather people do or don’t, it’s okay to find pleasures, Orgasms etc without people’s involvement.

Do what feels good to your soul in order to be whole.

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Blog Author: La' Shae Alexander

Instagram: @OfficialShaeDaily

Author Instagram:@ShaeisLove