Postpartum, Sex and Mom Bods; Let's talk about it!

Photographer: Brian J. Photos Photographer Instagram

"Postpartum (PPD) is one of the most common medical complications during and after pregnancy. During pregnancy, the levels of certain hormones rise and then rapidly fall after giving birth. Among other factors, these hormonal fluctuations have been associated with developing PPD symptoms. These symptoms include Sadness, hopelessness, Outbursts or irritability, even over small matters, Worrying or feeling overly anxious, Oversleeping, or being unable to sleep even when your baby is asleep, Feelings of worthlessness or guilt."

Please know that sometimes PPD does require medication to treat so please reach to to your doctor if you feel you may need to explore your options.

Snap back game, Milfs and Muavas are some of the evolving trends seen on social media today.

This new era of terms and visuals can make it difficult for new mothers to adjust to what their bodies look like after giving birth.

Seeing, loving and adjusting to a new body you’ve never seen may contribute to PPD. That’s why it’s important to have a secure support system. It’s important for birthing parents to know that they have done something so amazing that goes beyond what can be fathomed.

In my personal journey, facing myself was the best thing I could do. Staring at my body in the nude, telling her and myself this is who we are, acknowledging what we had done. Bringing life into the world, creating and growing life inside of you is an experience where power meets magic. Every time I looked at my daughter I felt love, I saw Joy. That was my declaration to show myself grace and love.

If you have a lover, partner etc. or if you are the non birthing parent it’s important that support becomes the forefront of the relationship. That support should come in the form of emotional support and with the duties and tasks of new parenthood. The more support given the more bonding time lovers can have to share. This time is critical for support so that getting back into the swing of intimacy and love-making doesn’t have to be a chore but instead a natural progression and expression of love.

"How can we as mothers think of only ourselves?" Isn't that selfish?

For my birthing mothers who feel the pressure to be everything all of the time, I encourage you today. I encourage you to do a 3 things.

1. Take time for yourself

Start with something small while the baby is sleeping and your partner is at work, take a nice hot bath and give yourself a facial (remember to moisturize). During the next nap polish your nails and toes.

2. Write down a list of things that you would be doing if you did not have a child or child and partner

I know, I know. "How can we as mothers think of only ourselves?" Isn't that selfish. The answer is No, its actually selfless and here's why. Even though, yes you are doing something for yourself, you are also making yourself whole, happier, giving yourself a mental break so that you may be a better partner and mother.

For me it was dance, Ive danced my entire life and thats where I knew I would be if I had not allowed everything to stop me. So thats what I did and I am happy I did.

3. Start an at home workout routine and incorporate healthy foods

You don’t have to make a drastic change to your diet, you don’t need that kind of pressure. A little work goes a long way I promise. Start with incorporating more fruits and vegetables in your diet, especially for breast feeding mothers. I thought I’d die of eaxauhstuion after child birth but lucky me on a fresh fruit and veggie diet, I found I had a lot of energy.

So again, start slow and start with small changes. You'll go a long way and because our bodies are smarter than we are you will notice your body craving the things that gave you extra energy. From there you will be on a path of healthy habits that feel natural, good and not forced.

So Shae what about working out?

You don't have time and you don't have money for the gym. This is the two most common reasons women don't workout after having babies but you're in luck I am here to tell you that the body you see in the picture above thanks me for 5 minute workouts and 15 minute workouts.

Yes, I started with light weights (can foods work) and 5-15 minute workout routines every morning before my daughter woke up for day care and before my work day. That’s how I started in 2017 and by the end of 2018 I found myself investing in myself more and more everyday and I even became dedicated to full 45 minute gym workouts 3-5 times a week.

I found myself loving my body more, naturally making time for myself and best of all in the best physical and mental health space I had ever been.

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Ladies, gentlemen and birthing parents I always say that better lovers are healthy lovers. So, if you want to be a better lover and would like to reach out to me please do so by becoming a member of my site and accessing the contact form in the menu above.

With Love,

Shae

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Photographer: Self @ShaeisLove